Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
