Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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