Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
