Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
