sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
