let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
