Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
