Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it because I queefed?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
