Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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