I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
