FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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