He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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