i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
