FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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