i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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