Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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