I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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