ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
