I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
