i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
