I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
