Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
