Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
