I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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