Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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