I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
