Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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