Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
