One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
