how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
