so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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