all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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