Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
