Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
