If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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