Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
