i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
im on a boat
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