I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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