Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
