If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
