idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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