listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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