I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
