we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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