I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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