yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
