I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
