Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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