so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
