Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
