Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
