You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
