His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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