we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
