Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why didn't you poke me back
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
