anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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